Saturday, January 23, 2016

The Power of Negative Words

‘’There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers’’.  I think it was a teacher in Grade 6 or 7 who used to say that.  Armed with irrefutable  proof, to that teacher I would like to respectfully say “I beg to differ”.  

In the Teacher’s defence, that statement was meant to encourage us to question everything and not take things as fact unless they were proven beyond any reasonable doubt.  In my defence, the questions I have been asked are born out of pure stupidity and meanness and I have enough to prove it beyond ressonable doubt.

I could easily become a multi-millionaire if I had a dollar for every snide comment, veiled insult and insensitive remark received over the years, mostly masked as concern or sheer fact.  There is no other way to respond to these questions, except with a polite smile but, in my head I’ve stored the real responses I wish I could have given.

The most STUPID questions seem to always be the most common ones and are usually accompanied with a snide remark.

Have you lost weight (this is after I have noticeably lost over 25lbs).  Oh that’s nice but I think you were thinner before!

The real answer in my head : The magical suction pump I have, automatically started working after all these years and I can change sizes whenever I want.

Have you cut your hair (this is after I cut my hair which was really long to a bob).  I think long hair suits you better.

Real Answer : Well I don’t remember you telling me my long hair suited me when it was long.

You didn’t come for my party?  I better see you next time.

Real Answer :  Babe you didn’t invite me.

Ok, I really can go on and on but you get the gist.  So over time I have realized there are mostly 3 types of people in your life; those who love you for who you are, those who hate you for who you are and those who don’t know you but hate you anyway because of what they have read, seen or heard about you.  The only ones worth focusing on are the ones who love you and see you for who you are instead of tearing you down to make themselves feel better and then convincing you that they are doing it for your benefit.

The power of negative words are only as destructive as you allow them to be.  If you love yourself and don’t allow other’s opinions to affect you then you are taking away the power from them to hurt you.  This is obviously easier said than done but like everything else in life it can be done.  Harsh words are forgotten by the person who says them pretty easily, but remain with us for eternity and we beat ourselves up over them again and again and strive to erase them again and again.  The next time someone says something negative, realize it’s the way they see you and not the way you are and distance yourself from them. 

Be only around people who lift you higher, fill you with positive thoughts about yourself and life in general and who support you no matter what.  Life is definitely not worth wasting on anyone who makes you doubt your own capabilities and feels good in tearing you down just because they can’t rise up!

Never dim anyone else’s light so that you can shine.  Just Shine! - Buddha



Thursday, January 7, 2016

Change is the only constant!

You will die at 70! That’s what people who know me and those who think they know me started to predict when I hit 35. Those were not their exact words…… was more like‘It’s midlife crisis!’ To me that meant I had reached the mid-point of my life and had only 35 more years to live.  The statement was always said with a head nod from side to side and a “don’t worry, it will pass” comment.  What will pass? My life?  The reason for the comment was because I wanted to change my life, my profession, my fitness and learn to do new things I had never thought of trying before like riding a bike (for which I was completely out-voted by my family).

Obviously aware of the term, I decided to look into where it started and why?  I find it intriguing how most people accept norms without actually questioning them and so armed with my most trusted oracle ‘Guru Google’ I set out on my quest to truly understand the origins of the term ‘Mid-life Crisis’.

What I found on Wikipedia was : A life crisis is defined as a period characterized by unstable mental and emotional health, altering the course of life of those affected by it. A mid-life crisis is experienced by some people as they realize they have reached a midpoint in their lifespan and experience conflicts or dissatisfaction within themselves because of unrealized goals, self-perceptions or physical changes as a result of aging or health issues. 

My mind was blown.  Was I having a mid-life crisis without even realizing it?  Was  my need to make major changes based on a condition where my mind was throwing subconscious unrealized dreams at me?

Without analyzing my condition any further, I embraced it whole heartedly and found that the need to change is constant but the willingness to change is not.  Most of us think of doing several things throughout our lifetime like learning to speak a new language, learning salsa, travelling more, being less stressed about our weight, changing our jobs……but not everyone does any of it.

If Mid-life crisis means you don’t wait anymore to realize your dreams and just go for it, if it means you don’t let life get in the way of what you really want to do and if it means you become more important to yourself than other then I say we should live our whole lives with this condition!

Dreams, aspire, learn, try, fail, try somemore…….but never give up!  Cheers to this wonderful condition and the freedom it gives u to just be U!  What else could be more important than that?

A quote sent to me by a friend sums it up beautifully ‘We beg for candles without even knowing we can have the Sun! I hope what we ask for, is not all that we get’ – Meraaqi

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